A Gift for Mothers

Today is Mothers' Day in the United States. The holiday is meant to show respect for women who have willingly sacrificed with love for their children. All over the country, women are enjoying time with their families. Most people buy gifts for their mothers, take them out to brunch, or treat them in some other way that is here today and gone tomorrow.

I am fortunate enough to have a Mother's Day gift this year I will remember forever, because I can share it with women everywhere. This is a gift for my daughters, and for mothers and daughters everywhere.

On Friday, May 7th, 2010 the Alaska Supreme Court published its opinion in the appeal regarding the circumstances of my divorce. Here is the decision:

http://www.courts.alaska.gov/ops/sp-6474.pdf

It has been my contention from the beginning that the divorce was improperly granted, because it did not comply with the statutes in this state. I lost everything I owned without due process. In a unanimous decision the court agreed with me. It held that the trial court abused its discretion when it acted contrary to the statute.

It held as well that the trial court did not give sufficient cause for evicting me into the street in its premature attempt to sell my home, granting full possession and deed to my former spouse. My experience with the eviction process is documented below in an earlier post. This was one of the most hurtful, gut wrenching events that has ever happened in my life. I endured it for no good or just reason, other than that it was what my vindictive ex husband, who had been convicted of domestic violence, asked of the court. It was a blatantly discriminatory decision that left me homeless, devastated and without means for ten weeks. It was something I never dreamed the legal system would allow. It was something I pray none of you will ever endure.

My eviction was a wrongful act. It showed no respect for the time and effort I had put into a marriage, business, and parenthood. The ruling of the Alaska Supreme Court makes it clear that this is not permissible without specific documentation of special circumstances that would warrant such an invasion of one's home and privacy. More importantly, it makes a statement that women cannot be deprived of their property without due process.

This is a very important decision. Every day in this country women who are victims of domestic violence as I was are forced to make the choice between losing everything and saving their own lives by walking away. Most of them never regain what they lost. I have been blessed beyond belief in that the system, albeit slowly, has moved toward returning to me much-but not all-of what was taken from me.

In particular, women who have spent half a lifetime nurturing a spouse, children, marriage, or business have very little in the way of personal resources to help them weather the kind of tragedy I endured.

Domestic violence, including financial duress, and divorce, are pervasive in our culture. These are major contributing factors in the growing numbers of older women who are either homeless or living below poverty level. Having raised their families, most are forced to simply walk away in defeat, lacking the wherewithal to deal with the complex legal system from a position of powerlessness. This opinion reinforces statutes that are on the books in Alaska (and similar ones in other states) that say they do not HAVE to be forced to to this.

I am honored to express my gratitude to those who have assisted with my efforts, and those who have supported me. I am honored to pass my gift to those women in need, with my earnest hope that you do not have to tread where I have tread in your journey. Know that you have power. Use it. This is my Mothers' Day gift for us all.